Coax Flowers into Bloom
I made a vision board this year for the first time in years. I put an open door and pictures of laughing at brunch and a suitcase for traveling and inspirational quotes like “it’s not the load that breaks you, it’s the way you carry it” and a gold leaf for the healing for the nations and cake. Always cake. Because cake is a life necessity. And happy couple and happy family pictures. And a picture of a fingerprint with the quote that says “coax flowers into bloom”. My house mate said “everyone I know who has made a vision board, it’s come true”.
So far this year, I’ve traveled, definitely ate cake, had crazy open door meetings that only God could have orchestrated, have an amazing open door job challenge in front of me, had fun laughing brunch times, and have tried to carry my load differently. I went to my friend’s gallery last week and started painting. I painted a canvas pink with pink blooming flowers and thought of my vision board that says coax flowers into bloom.
What does that even mean? I think it means bringing people to life around you. I think it means speaking words that are like kisses that go out and change the DNA of people. I think it means letting love change you.
Another quote on my vision board is about risk. Redefining risk. You might be in danger of opening your heart instead of closing it. Beautiful. But easier said than done, and conquering the intimacy vs. isolation phase. I have this visceral fear of abandonment that comes up when I feel too vulnerable. My therapist normalizes my fears, and tells me how lovable I really am, but living to love and be loved is scary. And beautiful. And real. And fully alive. And I have people in my life who love me so much. In spite of my edges and fears. My therapist also tells me this is normal.
I did a prophesy your year class the beginning of this year and all I wrote for September was “learn more about encounters with God”. I took an encounters class last Saturday and He showed up so beautifully. He showed up as peace, of immense comfort, of such kindness that I still cry when I think about it, of just bathing me in His goodness. He tells me to just come to Him when I’m stressed out. I think the connection of this Love is what makes us come alive and bloom. What changes us into who we were made to be. Allows us to love the people with the edges and fears. And hopefully coax flowers into bloom around us too.